I’ve always explored in the bedroom, but being raised strictly catholic there’s a sense of shame and guilt attached to sex and anything sexual. Even if I wanted to explore deeper, My partners were usually not into anything particularly, but they still wanted a woman who could take control. Control of what? The missionary position? Sure I could do that, nothing more than that though.
I don’t even blame Myself. I actually praise Myself for understanding My faults and taking responsibility of My Dominant Self, leaving behind shame, judgement, fear and getting out of My comfort zone. If you do not know Me at all, I’ll let you in a little secret: getting out of My comfort zone is My favorite thing to do. I am able to recognize when it actually is controlling My choices and decisions and I’m able to jump over it and do whatever I want anyway.
Anyway, when I started as a Dominant after being a submissive and a switch at SanctuaryLax, (Link) I had to face insecurities in new scenes. Of course a Dominant does not know everything and needs mentorship along the way, but I did find Myself using a lot of My own intuition and I have to say I did surprise Myself. Finding this specific thing (sense) boosted My confidence and trust in Myself.
I did find knowledgeable submissives that helped Me explore new kinks and skills, and wonderful and helpful Dommes always ready to answer questions and share Their knowledge with Me.
Finally I will be at DomCon LA this year, taking as many classes as I can, learning how to better torture, tease, destroy and build you up. you are more than welcome to introduce yourself.
I have to admit that at first I was really hesitant on taking this class, I had a lot of self doubt and I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone.
In the past I always seen women as enemies so now I had to be in a room full of women for 3 days.
The only person I knew is my teacher Simone Justice.
As I walk in a temple I am welcomed by friendly smiles and different energies, mine is still uncertain.
The class is very well organized, we reunited in circle to talk and to go over all the topics regarding verbal skills with plenty of space for Q&A’s, we were then given trained slaves to practice on our newly learned verbal techniques skills.
From this brief description you might think that it’s just like any other class, not at all.
Everyday we would do exercises to build empathy among each other, we were encouraged to ignite our spirituality, to fully put down our walls and be able to show our vulnerability to strangers in just 1 day we had to show our true self without fear of being judge, even if we were all at different levels of experience, some of us had some experience, some of us had none and some of us were just curious.
From my personal perspective I was really nervous and as I said I had a lot of self doubt, I did at the time work as a Submissive at a local dungeon and felt in a way inferior, I could feel the different confidence levels on each one of us, we were also working on Verbal skills which it has always been a huge deal for me, I am very silent and assertive, I say very little.
By the end of the first day I did not feel threatened anymore, I felt a lot of compassion, love and understanding from each one of us, I felt grateful.
On our second day after our morning exercises we finally met the slaves we were going to practice our newly learned skills on, do I need to say I freaked out?
Even with my teacher next to me telling me what to do, the words couldn’t come out of my mouth, I did know what to do, i just had a mental barrier that did not let me practice, I’d call that, lack of confidence, it was on me to get out of my comfort zone and face my fears.
The last day comes and I’m even more nervous because our teachers organized a play party for us, we all got ready, we had wonderful make up artists among us and a photographer, we couldn’t really have asked for more.
When the party starts I know who to play with, I direct him to my throne and begin my scene, after some impact play I have him lie down to worship my feet,I heard words start to come out of my mouth naturally, I realized I did reach a breakthrough in my verbal skills, most of all my confidence increased and my emotional intelligence couldn’t interfere anymore with my skills,
An evil grin formed on my face.
This is a short description of what I have experienced in this class, what I’ve heard and seen are deeper emotions, it is far from the imaginable, if you are struggling to find your inner power, you will be transformed by the end of the class. I’ve had the honour to spend time with amazing confident and strong women, that were aware of their inner Goddess, they only needed guidance and I did too, after this class, we created a sisterhood of Dommes, as many of you may know in this industry and lifestyle there is a lot of competition and often women do not support each other, they do otherwise.
The empathy that was built among each other is a bond that can never be broken, we know that we will always be there for each other, we did and we always will.
Following you can find the links to the next Dommecraft classes the same one as I attended which will be January 13,14,15 – DommeCraft Weekend Course 1: Become A Dominatrix, here
And good luck!
Her beautiful Feet and Her protocol to worship Them can drive you crazy almost immediately.
Happy to worship Mistress Morante LaRosa and dreaming with my next sessions!!
We talk about his interests. He is specifically interested in a spiritual session. I go into My private chambers for a moment. When I return, he is already naked, kneeling on the floor, hands together as though in prayer.
As my hands touch his back he shivers in excitement. As my nails softly rake over his skin, he expresses the powerfulness of My energy. The room is small, and My presence fills it entirely.
I order him to lie down on the sofa, blindfolded, and take deep breaths. He feels My omnipresence taking over his senses. I use feathers, pinwheels, and other toys. With every tool I use, he keeps his hands in prayer, worshiping the Goddess and expressing how privileged he is to be in My presence. His body is overloaded with gratefulness and emotion.
He wants to beg until I am convinced he is worthy of My undivided attention. However, My intuition guides Me, and I know that he needs love and affection.
I tell him this, and he immediately bursts into tears and nods. “Yes, that’s what I need.”
I draw on past experiences at a Buddhist temple and give him a guided meditation – a soothing, verbal journey that helps him release negativity and stress. I replace those darker things with love, affection, and worthiness.
At the end he is grateful and at peace. He feels relieved of a burden he didn’t know he had been carrying. After our session is over, we talk a bit, and then he journeys back out into the world, ready to face it – but with a gift from his Goddess.
Realization of Power
How many times in your life have you felt like you could conquer the world?
I have, many times, but right after I felt so wonderfully carried away by emotions, other things started to kick in – like insecurity, self doubt, ignorance (being unaware), impatience and impulsivity.
A while ago I wrote this insightful article about the Ceremony. I always felt like I wasn’t able to write, but I was proven wrong. I won’t go into details, but I was given validation by the very same people who appeared in the Ceremony. When it happened, I couldn’t properly function for several hours out of excitement – but I also felt something different happening to me. I couldn’t figure out what it was for a while until it finally hit me: I have the power to do anything I want with my words, with my presence. Just being me is extremely powerful. If I could reach out and do something like this, I can basically do anything I want.
Why couldn’t I do that before?
- This whole world (society) is designed to make you feel less than other people. For instance: when a commercial shows a beautiful model, her skin is so silky and so beautiful that you think you have to buy their product if you want to look that way. Sure, you might realize it is a marketing strategy, and we can all thank Sir Bernays for making corporations so (deviously) smart – but at the same time we do not realize that the same image of what they want to make you think is perfection, will make an average woman feel like she’s not enough. This is just an example, but trust me, there’s way more things that influence and undermine our confidence on a daily basis.
- I personally think that self doubt is the immediate feeling produced by insecurity.
I firmly believe that we need to be empowered beginning from our very first years in this world. Some of us are fortunate in that aspect, but the majority isn’t.
- In order to tap into your power you must be aware of the fact that you have it.
Growing up we are influenced by others – but unfortunately, some of them don’t do a great job at it. The first individuals to influence us are our parents.
Now, from my personal experience, the majority of us haven’t been raised with good parenting. The reason behind it, I believe, is that our parents were not aware of the consequences of their actions and their words when raising us. They did they best they could do, though, believing that they were good parents.
Why do I describe these aspects?
- When our lives don’t go the way we want, we will start to be impatient and frustrated and impulsively make the wrong decisions.
We need to realize that we hold a great amount of power within ourselves – but if that same power is slowly taken away by the above mentioned issues and we are not aware of it, we will spend our whole life wishing for things to be better. However, we will never have control over it, only because we did not come to the realization that we can change, and that we can take control back into our own hands.
Talking about myself, I felt lost for a long time, wishing that my life somehow would be better. It wasn’t – until I experienced a spiritual awakening where I became aware of my issues and how they were affecting my everyday life. Until that point, I wasn’t able to take responsibility for myself. I was afraid to make decisions.
My confidence was definitely low – ‘below the ground,’ you might say. Growing up I’ve always been taught that others were better than me. Consequently, I always felt less than others, wasting away my inner power without even being aware of it.
Through the work I have done on myself, pinpointing all the issues and the feelings behind my daily decisions, I was able to gain that confidence back. 90% of it I owe it to BDSM. I couldn’t be a good Domme if I wasn’t aware of the work I had to do on myself before taking charge of somebody else’s emotional baggage and mold it in my hands.
Most importantly, getting my confidence back made me realize how much power I have. The awareness of it hit me like an epiphany – it changed everything for me, and it turned my life around.
So if there is one thing I can tell you is, Be yourself, Be powerful.
Last night I watched the documentary The Ceremony, about Catherine Robbe-Grillet’s life. She is a famous Parisian Dominatrix who has lived her life creating theatrical scenes and intense scenarios. For the people who submit to her, she is able to bring them to places they never thought they could go.
When I watched it last night it was an epiphany. I loved the documentary. I saw myself being there, having that presence and that prestige. I want to be part of similarly intense and opulent scenarios.
The relationship that her “staff” has with her is the perfect example of a sense of belonging.
I could feel it in their words, in the way they looked at the ceiling when thinking of La Dominatrice. They wanted to belong to her, to let themselves go completely, to surrender to a sense of trust and safety she projected.
She has a vivid imagination and is able to create intensity, to make you vulnerable and to build you up. At the beginning, you feel uncertain about what is expected of you, and then you’re gently guided to your limits – to the threshold of a place you didn’t know existed inside you.
In one interview I read how she mentioned the fact that one has to dominate oneself before anybody else. I couldn’t agree more.
When I got into BDSM I embarked on a self-mastery journey where I quickly realized I had to look into myself before deciding how I wanted to dominate others. I discovered how patterns can really control your life. Once you are able to detect the pattern, you can break it and change it depending on what you want.
I’m sure you all already know this, but to me it is really important that you get to know my thoughts first and foremost.
‘Patterns’ is the world we live in everyday. Whether you like it or not, we all follow patterns – and whether you like it or not, we decide what patterns to follow every single day.
I talk about patterns because there are issues or traumas that we might have had in our childhood or teenage years that trigger our behavior in our everyday life.
How does that affect domination?
Well, when we are triggered by certain emotions that we want to suppress, we might reflect it or project it on people that decide to submit to us. For instance, if a woman has been raped or abused, she might become angry at the man who is submitting to her, and allow herself to be taken over by her emotions during a scene.
This is just one example, but it is really important that a dominant takes responsibility for the way she conducts her life before taking responsibility for someone else’s life (which includes both physical and emotional aspects).
I feel that this is the most important step before considering domination: getting in touch with our own feelings, being aware of our emotional responses, and transforming them into rational and logical actions.
Only then we can fully be in charge of someone else’s thoughts, behavior, and submission.
I’ll end this blog post with my favorite part of the documentary, which happens at the end.
“I kneel before Jeanne to whom I owe respect and obedience, Jeanne who has taken me beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
I kneel before Catherine, the tiny woman who enchants me, ever astonished by the tenderness I feel and she bestows on me, I love you”
Ps. I’d like to read her books after I’m done with my current book “Erotic Slavehood” by Christina Abernathy.
Here are the links for my future kinkeducation
Domination as a Self Mastery journey.
When I first started taking classes and trying to understand BDSM, I felt extremely lost, I was taking random classes without understanding that first I had to figure out what I wanted. But let me take you back for a second.
My first introduction to BDSM as a career was an online class by a famous LA Dominatrix. Her explanation of Pro Domming is a beautiful world where women can make a lot of money doing what they want. The first steps are creating this persona that you want to be, giving her a name, imagining her, her voice, and her presence. I now understand that reality is very different than what was described in that course. Once you get to her level then yes, it is wonderful and lucrative, but the journey is different.
It wasn’t easy. I honestly didn’t even know what I was doing, but I think that the illusion of money was pushing me more than anything else. Big Mistake!
As I went on feeling lost and taking random classes, I finally met somebody who introduced me to Simone Justice, who would soon become my teacher. When I see her website, that is visually what I desire to be – that powerful female presence, yet sweet at the same time.
I tried to avoid starting as a submissive, although it was more or less inevitable. However, I’m glad I did (besides my first session where I felt degraded but also felt sorry for the client) because I got to experience what it is to be a submissive, and I think it will make me a better Domme. I also met a lot of great people along the way.
After setting up a website, doing a photoshoot, and getting ready to start, I was faced with a problem: finding a dungeon that would rent to a New Domme. My initial attempts yielded nothing. I have to say I felt defeated at the time. I was really driven to start exploring and practicing my new skills, but I couldn’t find a place to do it and help support myself at the same time.
Where I am now
I am now working at a dungeon, seeing and experiencing different things. I realize how long the journey is, and how money has really nothing to do with it (at least at the moment).
As far as my personal thoughts, I see very different kinds of domination: improper domination by people who haven’t put in the time to learn their craft, sexy domination, serious domination, classy domination – the list could go on and on. I have finally found what kind of domination I prefer, which came to me in an epiphany after I watched the documentary The Ceremony, about the work of Catherine Robbe-Grillet. I’ll write a review in my next post.
This whole experience has changed me completely into being a better person. I’m better able to communicate properly. I feel mentally stronger, I am completely in touch with myself and my desires, I am open to give and receive. I want to put my imagination to work – and that is where you come in: I want you to be my canvas, where I can paint wonderful scenes, where we can both get lost, where I can take you places you have never been before and you didn’t even think you could.
I hope this has given you an insight into who I am. The list of skills I have does not really matter (although they are considerable, and getting better daily) – what really matters is what we can create together in this journey.